TO me & not FOR me...

"The Power of Horses to Heal - Riding Home" by Tim Hayes

I am being profoundly impacted by this book, I'm only partway into my library copy and I know I need to buy this for my shelves. Here's a quote that hit me square in the face...

"Horses are mirrors of our intentions. If they think our intention is something that will feel good or be comfortable, they will stay. If they think our intention will not feel good or will feel uncomfortable, they will leave. A horse usually feels uncomfortable when we do something to him and comfortable when we do something for him...

Humans and horses are mirrors that reflect each other's intentions. And just like people, horses much prefer when another does something for them and not to them. It's similar to when I was a boy and my mother would brush my hair off my forehead with her fingers. She said she was doing it because it looked better and she didn't want to to get into my eyes. She was doing something to me (for herself) and not for me (because I hadn't asked her for it). I knew it, I felt it, and I didn't like it." p73 

A new moment of self-awareness. In my relationship with my family, my husband, my children, may I continually be striving for my actions to be that of service, for others. And additional layers of insight into others behaviors around me. I know it, I feel it, when something is awry and I am not being served but taken from. That's where healthy boundaries come into place and I step away, just as the horse steps away when it feels uncomfortable in the interaction.