Connection from Dis-Connection

My journey

 

I grew up in Kent, the garden of England. I’ve always been a country girl at heart, happiest with my hands in the soil and the wind in my hair. As a child I was profoundly affected by the stability of nature, her structure and the peace of her repetitive patterns. Fond memories of an old brick farmhouse, orchards, rolling fields and damp woods. A place of deep connection.

The stability of nature protected me from the truth of our broken & disconnected family, and the unresolved grief that was crippling my parents. My seemingly secure life unraveled, and at the age of nine my parents’ divorced.

I was filled with pain as I sought stability, love, and genuine connection. I struggled with an internal anger I couldn’t tame. Circumstances outside of my control had left me alone and hurt.

I was invited to take a spiritual path, a choice I made independent of my broken & wounded parents. I ignored my mother’s resistance. What I found was a sense of belonging. I found family. I found connection, acceptance & a love that I had not before experienced. I wasn’t alone anymore. I was home.

As a young adult I chose to travel, touching numerous countries in the Middle East, Asia, South America, Europe & North Africa. My journeys sparked the longing in me to connect with people & places. I was faced with disconnected people across the nations. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually alone. My desire for connected families, neighborhoods, societies, cities and their connection to the land grew.

I then grounded myself for a season and studied Architecture at Cardiff University in Wales, gaining a Bachelor’s & Master’s Degree, knowing that the external built environment has a huge impact on the stability of society. I pondered architectural design & its symbiosis with nature. I delved into the science of ‘health’ in nature, its balance of proportion and simple alignment, connection as opposed to dis-connection. I qualified as an Architect after studying for 8 years.

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During my studies I developed unexplained autoimmune issues. My quest for health led me to a naturopathic doctor and I was radically transformed & energized. I began my own studies of naturopathic medicine, studying now for 25 years. My desire to connect to my own body & its needs, a search for internal health, tied into my desire to bring structure, order & connection externally.

Then whilst journeying in Israel in 1995, I met my husband to be, Steve. What a connection. We married & settled in England. Traditional family life, four little ones, emotional healing, and what I thought was a closure on my history of family dis-connection. This was deep & healing connection.

Amid the beauty & connectedness of our family, physical sickness visited me again, Lyme disease during my last pregnancy. It was undiagnosed & untreated for years, the physical, psychological and emotional traumas rippled through our young family. There was only dis-ease and dis-connection during those years, and we were fractured. My physical healing came supernaturally and suddenly in 2008 there was hope for the mending of our fractures. 

I began an internal journey to honor connection, recognizing my physical health and connecting to my body, whole again. I found spiritual & emotional healing as I allowed my creativity to re-emerge. I splashed and swirled colors on silk, crying, laughing and singing as I created. I felt such peace & satisfaction. I began, with fresh energy, to connect to my family, and honor that connection through my creativity.

A new adventure came over the horizon and we relocated to the US, and the State of Kansas. I was introduced to equine therapy through some sweet friends and I began the journey of owning a large draft horse named Captain Blue, who has become my healing mentor & balance, a source of profound connection to my soul & the land. 

I recognize that honoring connection is a valuable treasure, a gift to give. My artwork on silk, my sharing of my relationship with my horse, my passion & anecdotal experiences of both pain & joy are all threads that intermingled and come together in one tapestry for the honoring of connection.